1. You will sweat. Just accept it, and let the sweat wash over you. You will get used to it. Which leads me to number two. 
  2. Fans are everything, wherever you go, make sure you’re sitting under the fan, it makes all the difference in the world. Like 10 degrees difference. 
  3. Pocari Sweat is a drink sold everywhere here, you want to get to know and love it. It’s the Indo equivalent of Gatorade, but without all the weird colors and flavors. Stay hydrated. 
  4. The Balinese are awesome, respect and be nice to them, and they will return the favor 10 times over. 
  5. Everyone rides scooters, get one for a week or a month to save money. Always wear a helmet or the cops will stop you for a bribe. Plus you might crash and die. 
  6. Getting a cab/uber in Canggu is a mess, leave an extra 30-45 minutes in advance. Use the BlueBird taxi app, and never take a ride from the local taxi stand unless money is no object, they are 5-10 times more expensive. 
  7. Everywhere has Italian food, it’s legit good, but you didn’t come to the island for Italian, try ALL the Indo food on the menu, it’s amazing, you won’t regret it. 
  8. Avoid the cheap booze. It’s not real and could make you blind. Beer and wine are a safe bet every time. 
  9. The Gilly Islands suck, unless you’re looking for drugs (good luck with that) or want to party all night with 21 year old Aussies (and spend too much). instead…
  10. Go to The Nusa Dua islands like Lembongan - PARADISE!! If it’s even possible to more of a paradise than Bali. 
  11. Plus Plus is the tax and service added on to most bills. Makes splitting a bill a mess, but usually it’s included on the menu and then taken out and put on the bottom of the bill. Just ask to see a menu again for easy division. 
  12. If you’re thinking of coming here and opening up a cafe/bar/restaurant/anything - DONT. Come live here for 10 years, and then make up your mind. This island does not work like you think it does. Ask ANYONE who’s done it. 
  13. Get a SIM card, add “pulsa” and spend 100% less than you would with a US roaming plan. You can top up at at any local market for a few bucks. 
  14. Massages are $7-10 for an hour, they are everywhere, get one every day. You win. 
  15. For your first Balinese massage, tell them not to do your tummy. It’s super weird, unless your into that sorta thing. 
  16. Speedbumps in Bali are called sleeping policemen. Slow down or they’ll get ya!
  17. There are no rules of the road here. Lanes are purely suggestions. Pay attention, pray to the Gods, and don’t die. 
  18. Nyepi is the start of the new year and a day of silence on the island. No leaving your house and no lights at night - this means the most spectacular starry night you’ve ever seen in your life. Worth it. 
  19. Buy a life-proof or similar case for your phone. There is sand and water everywhere!!!
  20. Rice takes three months from seed to harvest, and as a rice producing island (the steppe fields are a UNESCO World Heritage Site), you can see it everywhere. Since it grows in shallow water, it reflects the Balinese sunsets, grab a pic. 
  21. There are bugs here. It took me a month to get used to it. I don’t like bugs. Use Deet. 
  22. Makasi means thank you, sama-sama means your welcome. Learn it.